Heaven Help Me, I Was A Loser

I've started writing this post several times, but was too embarrassed for anyone to see this.  Here goes...I'd like to preface this post with the fact that my mother rolled our van when she was 6 months pregnant with yours truly.  As a result, I am not fully accountable for the quirky  amazing personality that you know and love.

Take a little walk down good ole memory lane with me, it should only take about 5 minutes as I have blocked out many memories from my formative years.  I like to refer to the era as my awkward years.  We all have them, some individuals are stuck in them longer than others. For me, my awkward years spanned from 2nd grade - my senior year in high school complete with plum speckled glasses, braces, wearing fake Birkenstocks with socks, my skeletor physique, and E.T fingers (oh wait, I still have those... the hubs tells me I have the perfect fingers for flipping people off, and my co-workers have even measured them). 

But, who am I kidding, I'm still stuck in my awkward years... and 5th grade was probably the worst.  Case in point, my friends and I formed a group and as a initiation task we had to come up with a "cool" word that would be unique to the group.  One by one, each of the members (and I think there were a total of 3 members..yup, just call me Ms. Popular) said their word and then it was my turn.... Not sure where I heard or came up with this word, but it was DEFINITELY not from my parents.  (Mom, I will understand if you never talk to me again or take me out of the will).  Take a few deep breaths, Leigh, you are a 30 yr old woman-child adult.  You can say it....

KINKY, that was my word.  I thought it meant cool, neat, awesome, etc. This would have been fine if it had stayed within the realm of our group, but I let it slip in front of a classmate.  I said to Carl, that shirt you're wearing is soooo kinky (I'm assuming I was attempting to impress him with my stellar/advanced vocab). Well, Carl must have grown up in different circumstances because in 5th grade he knew what the word meant and laughed hysterically at me.  Once he explained, I was mortified (worse than the time I forgot to wear a bra to class at age 21)  I thought, how am I going to show my face in Mrs Masterson's class ever again.  The world was over momentarily until some other 5th grader was caught picking his nose.  All was forgotten.  And I even graduated from 5th grade.  Whew, it was a close one. Your life can really change in the blink of a eye.

Life goes on, I've moved onto bigger and better things like going to Walmart in my pjs....maybe I'll get lucky and end up on this site: http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Happy Monday!!