A Sure Fire Way to Ruin a Perfectly Good Day & Random Thoughts

There are just a few things that can turn my smile upside down.  Go ahead and admit it...you're curious. Yes, my life is much more intriguing than Taylor Swift's love life (I love me some Taylor, but I think she needs to date less) So sit back and relax (let your butt flatten and your thighs expand to twice their size)... it's going to be totally lackluster fun post.

The only thing that gets me more mad than sand in the underpants (in my opinion, sand shouldn't be anywhere, but in between my toes), is dealing talking with the insurance company.  They expect me to put to memory, details such as yearly deductible costs, maximum out of pocket costs, preferred providers, etc.   And if I dare to ask about something specific, they'll just tell me the info I need is all in my Benefits Handbook.... Why sure let me go grab that from my nightstand...I just could not put it down last night. It's a real page turner.  I think customer service reps just pretend to not understand what I'm saying.  So I do what any normal American would do....talk slowly and loudly just like I talk to someone who doesn't speak English.  For some reason getting louder or talking slower doesn't make my English any more understandable to someone speaking Japanese.  Who knew?!   And after all that, they still try to give me the run-around...they say I need to discuss with my doctor's office and the doctor's office says that I discuss with my insurance provider.  I think they are in cahoots with each other...with the master plan that I'll get frustrated and give up.  Not happening.  What they don't realize is I am unemployed (until the 21st) and have lots of time on my hands.  Eat that for breakfast.... _ _ _ _ _ Insurance Company.   Whoa... I better stop ranting... either that or become a federal employee (it's what they do best).

Please pause with me as I take a few deep breaths.

Inhaling through the nose 1....2....3....4

Exhaling through the mouth 1....2....3....4

Repeat 2-3x's or until your rage has subsided.


Okay much better now.

Ever been on the site urban dictionary?  It's my go-to source for understanding today's culture(proceed with caution on here...there are a lot of things that people don't need to know).  Once, I found out I was saying a phrase that could be deemed racially inappropriate.  I heard snoop dogg say it and figured I could be one of the cool kids too. I believe the same brother that pointed out the true meaning behind Mary Jane's Last Dance was also the person that busted up laughing when I said the unmentionable phrase.   Live and learn.  Life Lesson #1,238,453:  Before you say it, urban dictionary it. They also have words of the day.  I really could have used today's word, touron, back in my DC days.  Any guesses of the definition?  Didn't think so.... it's tourist and moron combined.  DC residents absolutely loathe fanny-packing tourists that invade the city every year.  They even got my panties in a twist on one or two occasions.  The hubs always says when you learn a new word make sure you use it often so you don't forget it.  Please read the example below to fully understand the appropriate usage of touron.  Your welcome.

For the love of all that is good and holy, tourons stand on the right, walk on the left (Please note that in DC you will be tarred and feathered if you neglect to follow this rule... true story).


In other news, I'm thinking about doing a 1/2 marathon in the Spring (Mom, thats 13.1 miles, not 26.2)  Nice and flat and in Vermont.  Just for fun.  Something to look forward to... who's with me?!