Twenty-five on the 28th

Nope, that's not my age or my birthday.  Darn. I'm going to take a page from the US Weekly magazine and tell you 25 random things that you don't want to know about me.  You're welcome...Christmas has come early. 

1.  I love celebrity gossip magazines.  To me celebrities are not real people.  Maybe it's because we've never met (unless you count Marie Osmond and at the time I didn't even know who she was) or maybe it's because I'm shocked that they behave in such un-human like way. Some people are smart and perform experiments or create scientific theories.  Nope, not me.  I have however, created a strict hierarchy of gossip magazines  (no, I'm not a subscriber..the hubs isn't a fan).  People.  US Weekly.  In Touch.  Life and Style.  Memorize that list in that specific order.  This gem of wisdom will change your life. 

2.  I don't like to eat other people's food unless I know them or someone else that I know well knows them.  Odd.  Not sure who I can blame this on yet, but give me a few years and I'll find a scapegoat.  Sometimes, I'll have the hubs taste something so that I can go back and tell the person that it was good.  Don't worry if you're reading this blog, I probably know you well enough that I'll eat your food.

3.  One of my nicknames is Leach (as in a leech..nicknamed by my family and no, they've never won any spelling bees).  

4.  Speaking of my name...it's L-E-I-G-H. Not Leah, or Lei.  As a child, someone mispronouncing my name would send me into hysterics.  Now, it's something that I find comical...especially after they've already been corrected 5,671 times. 

5.  I'm still afraid of the dark.  Sometimes the hubs will shut off the lights in the room and be very still and quiet.  I immediately start screaming and he immediately starts laughing.

6.  I forgot to wear a bra once to college...the hubs had to bring it to me.  Not that anyone would have noticed..I'm not exactly Dolly Parton in that department.

7. I have a syndrome called guilt gut...

8. It's my dream to live on the same plot of land as my parents.  Can you say free groceries and therapy?!

9. I have no rhythm.  None, notta, zip, zilch.  Not only do I have two left feet...I also cannot tap my foot to the beat of the music. The hubs is so proud.  He loves to have me demonstrate my talent in front of others.  And some never thought I'd be considered a trophy wife. Ha. Eat that for breakfast.

10. My favorite movie is Goonies.  "Sloth love Chunk".

11.  I've only been skiing once and it took me all night to make it up the rope pull.  My arms would move forward and my butt would move backward. 

12.  I peed my pants at a sleepover in the 5th grade.  Yep, I said 5th grade.  I guess I was really into the party.

13.  I didn't know what the phrase, "is that a banana in your pocket or are you just happy to see me," meant until I was 20 years old.

14. I am a infomercial junkie. Instead of watching cartoons as a I child, I would get up early to watch infomercials on Saturdays. My favorites were the Snackmaster 2000 and the Ron Popeil Pastamaker.

15.  I never liked the New Kids on the Block.

16.  I made up a rap as a child...Lyrics included: My name is Leigh and I'm here to say.... I love fruity pebbles in a very special way....hey caterpillar, caterpillar can you give me a hand...yo, I'm not a one man band.

17.  I can't say "free throw" in repetition.  Another one of the hubs pastimes involves asking me to say the phrase 5x's fast.  Usually it ends up coming out as "three fro".

19.  According to "some people" I have a mid west accent. Don't get me riled up.

20. I get embarrassed for people sometimes and have to leave the room.

21. I used to practice my kissing skills on the wall.  I wanted to have a spectacular first kiss like in soap operas (I can guarantee that my mom is cringing as she reads this).

22. I have never broken a bone in my body; however, I used to ride my bike around the neighborhood with my arm in a sling so people would feel sorry for me.  What can I say, I'm #5 out of 6 kids and I needed some attention.

23. I got sent to the principal's office in the 1st grade for kicking some 2nd grade boys "where the sun don't shine."  If you don't know what that means ask your mom.

24.  I wanted to name my baby brother Butch (short for Butchie Boo)... surprisingly, they decided to go with Kyle instead.

25.   Sometimes I air punch as a I'm running....yes, I'm that cool.


Until next time.....

Theme Song Edition

I ran 6 miles today and man, did I feel like an old lady at the ripe old age of 31  30.  That or the scale is lying and I weigh over 300 lbs...I just didn't feel like I was moving very fast.  As a result, I had plenty of time to think.  Who's afraid of being left alone with their own thoughts???? ME!

 

Lucky for me, I had my trusty iphone that supplied me with endless fist pumping beats (I made up raps as a child...let me know if you care to hear my demo tape...$9.95 and sorry, no CODs).  Even with Miley Cyrus blaring in my ears, those darn thoughts started creeping up and got me thinking that each and every person in the whole wide world should have their own theme song.  I mean couples have their own songs, why can't an individual have their very own song??  As I huffed and puffed and moved my crippled body along the back roads of our small town, I contemplated what my song would be....

I'm Every Woman--Whitney Houston

For the Love of Money (Money, Money, Moneeyyyyy)-- The O'Jays

Baby Got Back--Sir Mixalot

Hands down, I think it would be Graduate by Third Eye Blind.. I apologize in advance, there are some inappropriate words expressed during this song, but as I discussed in my last blog I'm a pro at plugging my ears. Not gonna lie, there are days were I wonder if I'll ever grow up and make something of myself. Stay tuned...but until then, I'll just fake it 'til I make it.  (I think that might be Obama's slogan too)

Seriously, How Do I Get Myself Into This Mess????

The answer is...it's all me.  Yep, my life is anything, if not, comical.  Oh, and there's a whole lot of awesomeness going on here.  How do I know?  My mom.  She is always my biggest cheerleader.  I can still hear her in the stands screaming "Allllll riiiiighhht."  Aren't I lucky to have such a great mama???? Yep.  The verdicts still out on what kind of mom I'll be... If my children are anything like me, it's likely I'll be plugging my ears as they "attempt" to participate in a sporting activity.  I cannot handle the drama.  Once, my manager "accidentally" cut a fellow employee's hair with scissors while we were playing around at work... Immediately, I ran into the office area and crawled underneath my desk...got into the fetal position..rocked back and forth...and plugged my ears. I was scared of a throw down, but lucky for my manager we're all bffs and even have the necklaces to prove it.

Speaking of friends, I have great friends...all four of them.  My hubs and family members are great as well.  They are my favorite people in the world. You could say I'm a little bit obsessed with them..it maybe borderline unhealthy, but I don't care.  Now, I may just be really gullible, but I always assume two things about my friends and family.

1.  They love me no matter what and

2.  Our relationships reside in a judgement free zone

But, let's be honest...sometimes they have to be thinking "what in the world was Leigh thinking?"  For instance, my recent decision to get my hair cut at WALMART.  Yup, you read that right, WALMART (or as my G.G would say WALMARK).  The hubs told me not to, but I thought I'd try to save a buck or two.  My bad, I assumed everyone knew that before one uses a hair straightener, the hair must be dried all the way.  That would be a negative.  Not to mention my sweeping side bags are now very abrupt and blunt.  I can now feather them if I want to... I had similar bangs in 3rd grade.  I texted one of my bffs and said omg (oh.my.goodness) you won't believe my latest schemes to save money..I got my hair trimmed at Wally World.  She lol'd.  I could feel her camaraderie over the text and I knew she loved me all the same.

Then there was the time when I went for a pedicure with a friend and neglected to shave my legs for a few days beforehand.  I believe it was a 4 day streak of not shaving.  It dawned on me right when the pedicurist began massaging my appallingly long leg hairs.  AWKWARD.  In the words, of one of my nephews who is way cooler than me...EPIC FAIL.

Or the time that I thought Liz Claibourne was the same person as Elizabeth Taylor.  Nope...two totally different people.  Mind = blown.  Although in my defense, I think both of their clothing lines are in the same department store section...that would be in the old lady, overpriced section.

Another personal favorite scenario involved me giving away $300 to a random stranger.  Supposedly, (I'd still like to believe it wasn't a scam) she was stranded and pregnant.  After hearing her sob story, I went right into help mode.  I walked right up to an ATM and asked her how much she needed for a two hour cab ride home(yes, alarms should have been going off in my head, but they did not).  $300 was her response....and since, I had never taken a cab ride I was none the wiser.  Looking back that "cab ride" better have had a jacuzzi tub and a flat screen.  Who knows what she actually spent it on?!  Some people play the lottery(the hubs says the lottery is a tax for stupid people), not me I just give my $$ away to fake pregnant women.  To each their own.

Until next time....

Flashback Friday...What, What!!

I've said it before and I'll probably say it again, I was such a gem as a child (not to be mistaken for Jem the animated character who is was once my animated hero..image from: here).

 

And now onto the flashback festivities..complete with real life quotes that I made up on a rainy Friday afternoon.  Don't be jealous that you're life isn't as cool as mine.  

Happy Friday!!!