I'll Take That as a Compliment...I think

Went to the doctor's office today because my allergies have been KILLING me, not to mention making me less pleasant to be around (who am I kidding?!  I have zero local friends.  Don't worry, Ma, I have 271 real friends on facebook).  This was my first date encounter with this specific nurse practitioner and like any other professional in the health care field she was direct and to the point (that's how I like my hairdressers not my medical advisers).  Came right in and said, "Wow, you look like an athlete (I wasn't even wearing sweatpants with one leg pulled up), are you athletic?"  The voice in my head said "Not unless you count the time I played catcher for slow pitch girls softball." And FYI--you've got to be pretty darn bad if you play catcher in slow pitch.  My parents paid for me to play each year in the city league and I loved every minute of it (and I'm sure they were embarrassed every minute of it by my lack of skills..I threw a softball like you would a chest pass in b-ball).  I just wish they would have played a little extra $$$ for me to play a more admirable position like shortstop or 2nd base.  NO DICE. 

Now, back to my story.... My real voice said, "Nope, but I jog." She seemed satisfied with my response and moved right along with questions regarding the color of my snot.  I got hung up on what at first seemed like a compliment, but I realized it was just an observation on her part that I looked like a flat-chested 12 yr old boy.  Flashback to 6th grade.  Dun...dun.duuuuuuun.... A teacher had asked me to deliver a note to 7th grade teacher on the floor above.  No problemo, I'm great at delivering messages, but not so great at looking like a girl.  I was wearing a nice floral print dress royal blue (matching) sweatshirt and pants outfit that I spiced up with a little red puffy paint across the chest that read U-S-A (I'm singing Bruce Springsteen's Born in the USA as I type this)... While in transit, I passed two, 7th graders and I heard one ask the other, "Was that a boy or a girl?"  Talk about blow to the ego, I thought I was a trendsetter.  Lets' be honest, I was sporting the Demi Moore haircut from Ghost and that probably wasn't helping the situation... nor did it ever get me a date with Patrick Swayze.

Don't worry, I nipped that session of self reflection in the bud right away and repeated 10x's what I tell myself every morning in front of the mirror.

Work, turn to the left, work, now turn to the right
Work, Sashay! Shante!

Please let me know if you need me to translate the above...I realize this supermodel talk.